Top 10 ways to escape a marriage!

Why do people want to escape marriage? It maybe due to forced marriage but that isn't the case of this Japanese guy who stop wedding by setting the hotel on blaze.
Groom stop wedding with Blaze (link): A reluctant groom set fire to the hotel where he was due to get married to avoid having to go through with the wedding.

I also came across the article: Techie forges HIV+ve report to escape marriage (link)
As usual, ur happily married "love guru" came up with
CornLord's Top 10 ways to escape marriage for man:

1. Forge a HIV report.
2. Set the hotel on fire.
   
3. Admit that you are gay.
4. Say that you fall in love with your mum-in-law
5. Go for sex change
6. Shave ur head and be a monk in the monastery
7. Tell your wife-to-be you are actually advocate of Osama
8. Bitch everything about ur wife-to-be and send her friends ur blog link
9. Stage a kidnap of yourself during the ceremony.
10. Bribe the driver of the wedding car to ram the car into a police station on the wedding day

Disclaimer: Please do not try this during ur wedding day. If u do not wish to marry, simply tell her before marriage.

I personally do not think anyone will ever try my top 10 ways to escape marriage. But considering all the internet looneys out there..Better put the disclaimer to save my ass from any law suit. LoL

My "Too Fast Too Furious" Wedding

Marriage Preparation in Singapore with ROM usually take months to prepare. But less than 5 days is what my wife and I did to complete everything needed for a moderately simple wedding.

Standard Singapore wedding includes:

1. Choosing wedding package: normally couples will visit many bridal shops and view the wedding dress collection and viewing many diff photo shoots from different shops before deciding.(usually take 1 full day for fast decision maker to weeks for slow decision maker)
2. A full day of wedding shoot: Normally it is scheduled days, weeks or months from the initial selection wedding package.
3. Research and booking of restaurant for traditional Chinese wedding: Estimating number of guests, selecting restaurants and deciding on the wedding dinner package normally takes 2 man days to weeks.
4. Time also need to be spent for selecting and buying wedding bands. Normally, few hours.
5. ROM normally scheduled away from the planning to avoid hectic schedule.

All the above, My wife and I did with a bit of luck and sheer decisiveness. I must thank her for being a fussy-free, cheerful and supportive significant half.

Below is the short narration of my "Too fast too furious ROM"
*Remember my wife only here in SG for slightly more than 5 days*

• Day 0: During the day, my family and I booked the resturant and got the estimated tables for the traditional Chinese dinner next year. @ night 10 pm>> My wife and family arrived in Singapore.
  
  
• Day 1: We went straight for Citigems @ vivocity, choose a set of wedding bands and purchase from the shop with a budget in mind. Upon shopping and looking for a decent white function dress...we stumbled upon a bridal roadshow @ vivocity in the EVENING. Upon asking, we managed to get the package with lots of perks and also the next day for wedding shoot with the rest of the week tied up for the bridal shop. Lucky!
  
  
• Day 2: Went to ROM to sign confirmation of rom date. Rush to the bridal shop to get makeup for my wife. We had a whole day of photoshoot in the studio, botanic garden and sentosa. My wife and I keep cracking cold jokes, that the photographer almost wanted to throw her camera @ us... LoL
  
  
• Day 3: I slept for most of the day, with my sister helping me to bring my in law around to visit temples with my wife (being dragged to follow despite exhausted) . I met up with my in laws in the evening for dinner and then we went off to KTV. No wedding prep day.
  
  
• Day 4: Photo selection is scheduled on this day plus collection of the wedding bands which is re sized to fit our 4th fingers respectively.
  
  
• Warning: Corny Stuff below!
  Day 5: morning, my wife and I went to makeup plus dressing up for ROM.
  During the rom, my solemnizer is not fluent in mandarin but to respect my in-laws who are from China, i requested the vows to be taken in Mandarin. My wife had a hard time in listening to the instructions. There is a instance she strained to listen and then say "I do" in a frantic manner (She is nervous anyway). The Solemnizer instead of asking "I can't hear u can u please speak louder.." said "Are u willing to say "I DO" or not". My wife is stunned and say "Of Course, I DO" angrily. This cause a laughter in the room.
  
  Another funny point is that my wife and I supposed to hold hands before the vow taking. She is supposed to place her hands with palm down on my hands and we hold each other hands. Instead she place her palms up and then i try to signal her by doing a palm down action...she flipped her hands..phew...I flipped back to my position and she flipped again GOsh!! then she flipped back...Its like we playing some hands flipping game. Again the room roared in laughter.
  
  Funny point 3: My wife when asked to sign, she ask: "does it need to be clear?" I say "of course" She wrote her Chinese name very straight and clear...very different from the signature of the ROM confirmation which she had signed on day 2. then when i told her the 2 signatures supposed to be the same, she panic and look very blur. haha, then the solemnizer took out the previous copy say ok...u just need to counter sign again. The room burst into laughter again.
  
  The whole ROM look so cartoon, with me look stunned by my cute wife all this while.
  

• Day 6: early morning rushed my wife and in laws to airport and bid them goodbye!

Indeed time flies, and those memorial days with my wife just sped through. I am anxious for the Chinese traditional wedding and hope it is less "cartoon" and corny that day. haha, but with Mr and Mrs Corn around, what else do u expect?

I got a Fiancee and Many girl friends..WHOA!!!

My title caught your attention...LoL. Anyway if you follow my series of Love and Marriage, it is not difficult to realise this blog post is going to be filled with practical tips. Tips of what? Be patient and continue to read, young jedi...RoFL.

So everyone knows I got a fiancee But many girl friends??? If u read carefully, it says "girl friends" and not "girlfriends" (without space). I prefer not to call them girl friends but rather female buddies. Platonic (Deep and spiritual connection between two individuals where the sexual element does not enter.) relationship to some is just a myth while to others is especially true.

With men and women intermingling in various spheres of life that were gender-specific in the past (home, the workplace, sports, school), people of the opposite sex are discovering new common ground and more reasons to be friends. However, our media constantly showed in drama series and movies, that male/female friendship eventually evolved into romantic relationship. Romantic interest, physical attraction and jealousy of guys chasing your female friend can threaten to jeopardize a life long cross gender friendship. So how to draw boundaries and lines...

1. Determine your feelings and his/hers
Be honest with yourself, ask yourself
"Do u really treat him/her as a friend?"
" Are u jealous of people of opposite sex talking to him/her?"
"Do you truly believe this person is better suited to you as a friend than a romantic partner and Y?

Your answer to above question helps u determine, do u really want him/her to be platonic friends.

2.Define your relationship from the start.
After you decide with point 1, dealing with yourself, now u need to consider how he/she thinks.
Do not presume that he/she thinks the same, communicate to know how he/she feels
Discuss why you both want to be just friends, have a mutual understanding of each other views and postion that both of you decide whether you guys can really be platonic friends.


3. Talk to your significant half (your girl/boyfriend, spouse). Ask your friend to talk to theirs as well.
Settle any insecurities or trust issues within a relationship that might be magnified by cross gender friendship.

Acknowledge any borderline feelings from the start and provide reason for friendship that outweighs those feelings:

"Yes, I think she is one Hot girl and i will be lying if I say i thought she is ugly. But we can only be
friends becoz we have been long time school mates and never involved romantic relationship besides I have you already" (becoz....and so on...above just an example)

"Maybe he and I could've been compatible as a couple, but no matter what I met you first and we are meant to be together. I am committed to work out relationship with you because we meant to be."

Also tell them the difference you have inside your head to differentiate romantic relationship from platonic.
E.gWhat they have to attract u your fren dun.

"I can share my views, philosophy and maybe team working with Jenny, but with you, we share dreams, hopes, regrets and most importantly a future"

4.) Involve your significant half You should make an honest attempt to befriend their significant other and include yours. Coordinate get-togethers that you all can enjoy as a group. Include your significant other in outings with your friend. Jealousy is much less likely to be an issue if your significant other can get to know your friend. It's going to take time, especially if they don't believe in platonic friendships. Likewise, even if you don't like their significant other, understand there might be a little doubt and jealousy over the friendship. Find out what they like to do and suggest an outing for just the two of you. By becoming a friend to the couple, the doubts and jealousy usually vanish in time.

5.) Minimize sexual tension.
Don't be "touchy feely" with your friend, even if you consider yourself to be a naturally affectionate person, and especially if either of you are in a romantic relationship with someone else. Sure, it's possible to make physical contact without inciting sexual attraction, but hormones can play tricks on us. Don't give those hormones a chance to confuse your status as friends. Limit hugs and physical contact to the same amount you share with a sibling or a co-worker, depending on what you feel is appropriate, and what you think your significant other (or theirs) would feel comfortable with. If you find the need to hug and touch them more, then maybe you're not just friends...DUH..french kissing and letting your hands wander around isn't too right for just friends only right...Read 1.) ...be honest to yourself!

6.) Prevent borderline situations.
Don't give people a reason to think you're more than just friends. Having a night out together is fine, but don't bring your friend into social scenarios where everyone else has a date. That is called dating, not friendship. You wouldn't ask your same sex friend to accompany you to your sister's wedding, so don't ask your opposite sex friend! If you are going somewhere that might appear romantic (e.g. a movie or a fancy restaurant) but you do not want it to appear that way, invite another friend of the same sex. Even then, people may insinuate that you are more than friends; be prepared for those suggestions, and think of how you can deny them gracefully.

7.) Reduce contact or end the friendship if the boundaries can't be clarified or upheld.
If your friend is attracted to you as more than a friend and can't seem to put that attraction aside, it's time to stop him/her. Keep contact casual, conversations short, and get-together s brief. If the friend continues to press for a romantic relationship when you've made it clear that you don't want one, if they constantly trash talk your significant other (without good reason), or if they let their own significant other demean you, then perhaps the friendship isn't worth keeping, and this person should just be an aquaintance...merely a "Hi and bye" friend.

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Personal Experiences
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My own experiences, sometimes it is natural to feel some attraction, but when you are honest with yourself and determine to be true to your significant half as well as to your friend...great friendship do blossom. I once chase after my secondary school friend (of coz i suck @ chasing girl that time) and over the time...I realize that we could be wonderful buddies for life...even though it seems peculiar to others and even due to the fact that i am romantically interested to her @ a point did not end this wonderful friendship we are having now.

I got a few more platonic gal friends notably one ex-colleague, my best buddy (nickname:Kuku Nathan) 's fiancee, one xiao mei mei from my old youth group...weird but seems like girls are least likely to link cross gender friendship with motives of "sexual intimacy" than guys.

Recently I know another girl through facebook due to common interests. She and me are so alike that I would nicknamed her CornMaiden...yea she is damn corny and I even feel that she is my long lost sister.. There are a few friends who know about it...ask me "din you have a fiancee?" I was like.. "Can't a guy have platonic female friends?"...anyway it's hard to explain...

To those who did not have any platonic female friends and criticize me on this issue..."You suck...coz you are of low EQ to handle relationship doesn't mean others are!" Do some research and reading and you will know that i speak the Truth... :) Feels good to write the last session of this blog..muahaha good night losers!

Puppy Love VS True Love

Well well well...I am thinking of some other girls while i am going to get married soon. I'm not thinking how i miss them but rather looking @ my emotions called "puppy love" back then. First, I must admit I got lots of "puppy loves" @ a certain stage of life. What is "puppy love" then?

Wikipedia describes it as an informal term for feelings of love, particularly between young people during adolescence, so-called for its resemblance to the adoring, worshipful affection that may be felt by a puppy.Formal term: Infatuation.

How do you differentiate puppy love from real love then? Below is the List of Difference between Puppy Love Vs True Love
#1 Just a feeling VS Feeling + commitment
#2 Love of Emotion VS Love of Devotion
#3 Weaken by time and separation VS Strengthen by time and separation
#4 Interested in satisfying yourself and your feeling VS Interested in satisfying the needs of your partner
#5 Basically Selfish VS Basically Selfless
#6 Tend to magnify problems in relationship and lose interest VS Tend to seek solutions and improve on your own weakness.
#7 Possessive VS Wanting the best of others
#8 Attraction to physical or talents VS Attraction to Character ....etc the list goes on (Above are the major ones)

Some personal notes: #3 is so true for me and my fiancee...people who know us will know that we went through long distance relationship which strengthen over time.

Infatuation can grow into Love over time when you realize you would want to be a better person for him/her.

2008: Basic Security for Windows

Nowadays, Windows viruses, spywares and various malicious attempt @ computers are rampant.It seems as soon as you connect to your computer to the Internet, evil people is waiting to infiltrate your system and cause havoc. Setting up a basic security system for PC is now a must. I will guide you through with my own personal recommendation.

Step 1: Construct a perimeter of defense
Strong Firewall is the first line of defense against potential attackers on your computer. Forget about Microsoft windows firewall, it is just crap. The first line of defense against would-be attackers on your computer system is a strong firewall program. With a good software firewall you can monitor all of the transmissions sent or received by your computer.
Recommendation: Comodo Firewall Pro

Step 2: Search for Spies
You will never like spies retrieving your personal data and send it to some evil hackers or some companies. T o keep spyware from accessing your computer, you need to monitor your ranks (and files) thoroughly and often.
Recommendation: Ad-Aware SE Plus and SpyCatcher

Step 3: Beware of Plague
Evil Guys like bio warfare...They might send viruses/worms and infect your system. You got to have the technology to fight them.
Recommendation: AVG Anti-Virus Free Edition 8.0.17

Step 4: Employ Sentries
Having a sentry, is another layer of protection. It controls which apps or windows components are allowed to run on your windows. It works like a firewall (checks network packets) , it checks processes.
Recommendation:Online Armor
Thorough safety-check setup process and real-time protection is Online Armor strong points. During the initial setup for this program, you can select all the apps and components that are allowed to run on your computer. After a comprehensive scan, anyone who tries to gain access to your system will be allowed or disallow @ your very command. Like your firewall, once you've trained Online Armor to recognize your most-used programs, you'll only be notified when a new spy is trying to gain access.

Step 5: Send out your Scouts
A major threat to most systems is that they do know the potential threats of the website they are visiting. SiteAdvisor, a helpful browser add-on for Internet Explorer or Firefox that gives you inside information on sites even before you visit them. Using a color-coded system, a visual alert informs you whether a site is safe (green), requires caution (yellow), or is potentially dangerous (red). You need someone to warn you, don't u?
#SiteAdvisor for I.E: link
#SiteAdvisor for FireFox:link

There is no 100% foolproof system. What I recommend is the bare necessity of securing your home PC. It is a tedious process but definitely rewarding one.

Marriage: A grave or a fairy tale?

Divorces are getting more and more common. So why do you get married? Below are some of the reasons:

(1) Peer pressure from your partner when you are not ready.
(2) "Accidents" resulting in creation of human life.
(3) Family pressure to get married
(4) "I dun want to be left on the shelf and only he/she wants me"
(5) Getting a "Dad" or "Mum" for your child.
(6) Duh!!! Simply Because "I Love You and You Love Me"

Reason (6) results in 90% of marriages ...duh!! People married because of that reason must be living happily ever after in the magical world of love...? Please slap yourself and wake up...Marriage is not so simple. "So problem is solved if I find someone who is cute, handsome/pretty and rich". If u agree with the previous statement, then i am almost 101% sure, you have only used 0.00001% of your brain (plain naive).

Below are the issues in marriage.
A. Marriage expectations-----B. Personality issues-----C. Communication
D. Conflict resolution-----E. Financial management-----F. Leisure activities
G. Sexual expectations-----H. Children and parenting-----I. Family and friends
J. Role relationship-----K. Spiritual beliefs-----L. Couple closeness
M. Family closeness-----N. Couple flexibility-----O. Family flexibility

So how to be sure if you are ready for marriage? Ans: Pre-marriage counselling
Pre-marriage counseling sessions create an awareness of marital issues and problems that might occur in marital relationship. Pre-marriage counseling also assists people in determining if they are fully ready for marriage.

A Pre-Marriage Counselling Personality Assessment also consists of
§ Assertiveness – the ability to express feelings to your partner and to be able to ask for what you would like
§ Self Confidence – focuses on how individuals feel about themselves and their ability to control things in their lives
§ Avoidance – the tendency to minimise issues and the reluctance to deal with issues directly
§ Partner Dominance – considers how much a person feels their partner tries to control and dominate their life

Most couples did not consider issues in marriage and when they faced with the issues, they are often frustrated with themselves or their spouse making the relationship unhealthy. My advice is "do go for marriage counselling, you get to discover yourself, your potential spouse to forge a more blissful marriage ahead.