From my personal experience, most of the kids i encountered, when asked about places they would like to visit. They will say Japan, Korea, Western European countries such as Italy, Spain, England etc.
I would usually pop up the question "y not countries like China, Vietnam, or Eastern european countries? ". "EEEeeee dirty toilets and backward countries" followed by some disgust. It hits me hard , "Kids locally are developing sense of Superiority just like in the old days of Colonialism where the whites regarded themselves far more superior than other races".
Who taught our kids those old colonialism "white" superiority ideas? we all know the ans. It's us. Yes, us. We grumbled at the slightest dissatisfaction of any services or environment without being sensitive to other people's feelings. Kids picked the sense of superiority from us. Pride is slowly engulfing our next generation thanks to us, proud adults. Is there any classes on Humility in SG? Do inform me, next time when i have children, i will enrolled them in one.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
My Difficult Mother-In-Law To be
Friend A: Mr Corn, aren't u getting married?
Mr Corn: Yes, I am.
Friend A: So when is ur big day?
Mr Corn: I dunno.
Friend A: What do u mean by u dunno...its u who is getting married!
Mr Corn: .....
*Clap clap* The above conversation has been repeating itself months and months again. Many would have thought that this lucky-go-happy Mr Corn isn't serious about marriage.
Well, when u have a mother-in-law to be who is all about traditions (regardless they make common sense or not) and thinks that planning marriage is easy in Sg as in China. U got a whole load of problems and uncertainties @ hand.
My parents actually wanted the big wedding day to be of liking to my mother-in-law to be, so they suggest her to decide. But, she answered "the guy side suppose to take care of it, Must be some auspicious date". With my mum a Christian and my dad an atheist, it is not in their belief. However, my mum being computer-illiterate was unable to find " 通书" the so-called great book that contains all the "u should do this and u shouldn't on which dates".
Anyway, it doesn't matter to me much which date the big day should be. I just need to find a date which is so called "auspicious"...finally "Mr Google" show me 2 " 通书"s @ sina Web (China website) as well as one local Singapore one. Checking the contents of both, they are almost the same. Any " 通书" should be the same throughout, isn't it? Getting my mum to access the information and read the " 通书", she decided June will be a good time for my Dad to attend and then selected careful the date that reads auspicious for wedding. Finally solved the hassle of finding a big day right?
Not so fast, a reply from my mother-in-law to be says she is unable to check coz the printed version/calendar isn't out. I took pains to explain Sina Web (china own leading website) got 通书 and i have checked. She just brush off my explanations saying "she will check to see if the date is suitable for she hope that everything is well for us" Fair enough, I offered even to print out the 通书 from SINA website and then send to her. She asked me not to worry. But when would i know? Ans she gave is when i need to know... ZzzzZZZZz
Any couple who tried to arrange for a traditional wedding dinner knows that, In Sg we need to reserve the restaurant months before the actual day. Finding make up artist, photographers, wedding car, decor, checking on procedures on ROM and application of PR for my wife to be, flats application, i have to do it all by myself. Can't my mother-in-law to be make any things simpler? With my wife to be and her mother who can only stay in SG for no longer than a week and my wife to be cannot be in sg for any other reason like sight seeing, finding jobs OR accustoming to lifestyle of SG. (Note the word: "OR" chinese means "huo ze"). To pile up my misery, i do not even know when they are coming to Sg for me to plan for ROM.
I decided to break my silence and call my mother-in-law and painfully managed to get her to say "Go ahead to do with ROM stuff and let her know when the date was". Do not get me wrong to say that mother-in-law is a bad person. She is a kind person who is just bent on her own ideas and bound by stupid traditions of Chinese. Isn't alot of traditions in 封建时代 which enslaves million of Chinese women to their ideas. If following the tradition, if my wife did not give birth to a son that carry the family name in future,does it I can look to other women to help carry on the family's name? This is plain stupid. By the way, men in the region of Fujian can dun lift a finger to help with household chores. Rules are dead but humans aren't.
As a total opposite to my character who do not like to bound to traditions, logical in thinking and being broad thinker in many ways...It is extremely hard for me.
Being marriage across countries, we all have to give and take. But somehow i find myself in position of giving in, giving in and giving in. Surely Misery loves company. Any difficult parents-in-law out there? Please let me know to make me feel better.
Lastly, in the name of love for the wonderful lady i am about to married to, understanding the background culture of the place (which i extremely detest their thinking patterns and thoughts Not the people), I have to endure, endure and endure.
I will write someday about "traditions and its stupidity" both in religion views (bible Pharisees and how this so called men of God use traditions to enslave many minds of jews that time). need some time to research. It isn't just Chinese enslaving themselves with traditions!
Mr Corn: Yes, I am.
Friend A: So when is ur big day?
Mr Corn: I dunno.
Friend A: What do u mean by u dunno...its u who is getting married!
Mr Corn: .....
*Clap clap* The above conversation has been repeating itself months and months again. Many would have thought that this lucky-go-happy Mr Corn isn't serious about marriage.
Well, when u have a mother-in-law to be who is all about traditions (regardless they make common sense or not) and thinks that planning marriage is easy in Sg as in China. U got a whole load of problems and uncertainties @ hand.
My parents actually wanted the big wedding day to be of liking to my mother-in-law to be, so they suggest her to decide. But, she answered "the guy side suppose to take care of it, Must be some auspicious date". With my mum a Christian and my dad an atheist, it is not in their belief. However, my mum being computer-illiterate was unable to find " 通书" the so-called great book that contains all the "u should do this and u shouldn't on which dates".
Anyway, it doesn't matter to me much which date the big day should be. I just need to find a date which is so called "auspicious"...finally "Mr Google" show me 2 " 通书"s @ sina Web (China website) as well as one local Singapore one. Checking the contents of both, they are almost the same. Any " 通书" should be the same throughout, isn't it? Getting my mum to access the information and read the " 通书", she decided June will be a good time for my Dad to attend and then selected careful the date that reads auspicious for wedding. Finally solved the hassle of finding a big day right?
Not so fast, a reply from my mother-in-law to be says she is unable to check coz the printed version/calendar isn't out. I took pains to explain Sina Web (china own leading website) got 通书 and i have checked. She just brush off my explanations saying "she will check to see if the date is suitable for she hope that everything is well for us" Fair enough, I offered even to print out the 通书 from SINA website and then send to her. She asked me not to worry. But when would i know? Ans she gave is when i need to know... ZzzzZZZZz
Any couple who tried to arrange for a traditional wedding dinner knows that, In Sg we need to reserve the restaurant months before the actual day. Finding make up artist, photographers, wedding car, decor, checking on procedures on ROM and application of PR for my wife to be, flats application, i have to do it all by myself. Can't my mother-in-law to be make any things simpler? With my wife to be and her mother who can only stay in SG for no longer than a week and my wife to be cannot be in sg for any other reason like sight seeing, finding jobs OR accustoming to lifestyle of SG. (Note the word: "OR" chinese means "huo ze"). To pile up my misery, i do not even know when they are coming to Sg for me to plan for ROM.
I decided to break my silence and call my mother-in-law and painfully managed to get her to say "Go ahead to do with ROM stuff and let her know when the date was". Do not get me wrong to say that mother-in-law is a bad person. She is a kind person who is just bent on her own ideas and bound by stupid traditions of Chinese. Isn't alot of traditions in 封建时代 which enslaves million of Chinese women to their ideas. If following the tradition, if my wife did not give birth to a son that carry the family name in future,does it I can look to other women to help carry on the family's name? This is plain stupid. By the way, men in the region of Fujian can dun lift a finger to help with household chores. Rules are dead but humans aren't.
As a total opposite to my character who do not like to bound to traditions, logical in thinking and being broad thinker in many ways...It is extremely hard for me.
Being marriage across countries, we all have to give and take. But somehow i find myself in position of giving in, giving in and giving in. Surely Misery loves company. Any difficult parents-in-law out there? Please let me know to make me feel better.
Lastly, in the name of love for the wonderful lady i am about to married to, understanding the background culture of the place (which i extremely detest their thinking patterns and thoughts Not the people), I have to endure, endure and endure.
I will write someday about "traditions and its stupidity" both in religion views (bible Pharisees and how this so called men of God use traditions to enslave many minds of jews that time). need some time to research. It isn't just Chinese enslaving themselves with traditions!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Our Proud, Materialistic Generation-Part 1
Singapore, the seemingly Utopia of the world, the small red dot sheltered from natural disasters enjoyed political stability. Yet we faced a different enemy no less destructive and yet more subtle. The enemy has many names such as " Arrogance, Identity Crisis (I do not see myself as Singaporean forever), Materialistic.
All comments are a generalized description of kids from middle to high income.
-----------------
For Illustration
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
70s-80s: kids wear panda and swan brands
80s-90s: wear a mixtures like swan brand, some sports brand like Adidas
90s-now: branded goods
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am no caveman or some old guy who frown upon "dun waste money buy branded goods la" that type.
What i am illustrating is that because of the improving financial power of the kids/youths, they are not to be blamed to be materialistic. They are merely products of our education system and society.
"With greater power comes greater responsibility". Any of the parents have took great pains to to teach financial management, showing them how to use their money responsibly. Mine did, but i guess not many nowadays do. Many just showered them with $$$ in compensation of lack of family time and love.
Latest handphones, newest branded handbags, shoes, clothes watches gadgets etc soon became the identity of the youths who want to be seen as hip. Without a handphone in school for a secondary school kid will make him feel out of place. We are setting mindset of our generations into striving for good life described in material form chasing the pleasure of the world.
When financial storms come, the hollow pockets of the generation will be rocked and crumbled. Their identity no longer formed by the good social values of the society but rather represented by the material wealth they owned which can be eaten by dust and moths.
All comments are a generalized description of kids from middle to high income.
-----------------
For Illustration
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
70s-80s: kids wear panda and swan brands
80s-90s: wear a mixtures like swan brand, some sports brand like Adidas
90s-now: branded goods
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am no caveman or some old guy who frown upon "dun waste money buy branded goods la" that type.
What i am illustrating is that because of the improving financial power of the kids/youths, they are not to be blamed to be materialistic. They are merely products of our education system and society.
"With greater power comes greater responsibility". Any of the parents have took great pains to to teach financial management, showing them how to use their money responsibly. Mine did, but i guess not many nowadays do. Many just showered them with $$$ in compensation of lack of family time and love.
Latest handphones, newest branded handbags, shoes, clothes watches gadgets etc soon became the identity of the youths who want to be seen as hip. Without a handphone in school for a secondary school kid will make him feel out of place. We are setting mindset of our generations into striving for good life described in material form chasing the pleasure of the world.
When financial storms come, the hollow pockets of the generation will be rocked and crumbled. Their identity no longer formed by the good social values of the society but rather represented by the material wealth they owned which can be eaten by dust and moths.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
